Last Tuesday, after a long battle, we lost my mom.
She had a lung translpant due to COPD five and a half years ago. A while ago she was diagnosed with chronic rejection. And all too soon, she left us.
It's a strange feeling, and I always wondered how I would react. So far, I'm a little numb. I definitely have windows of intense emotion (I get kind of mad when I see old people - why do they get to be old? My mom was only 58). And I still cope by telling innapropriate jokes (while looking at a memorial venue at a park I opened a bar-b-q grill and told my dad we could pull her ashes out of there and put them in urns for guests).
And sometimes I get really irritable and irrationally angry. **CAUTION - FOUL LANGUAGE BELOW.
I told Jake it's a little like getting married. Nothing really has changed, but at the same time everything has changed.
I've been scanning pictures for a slideshow for the memorial. Here's a little walk down memory lane.
My mom in high school.
My parents in their late 70's awesome-ness.
I'll always remember her like this in the morning.
I realized two things while looking through old pictures of myself.
1. WOW - I was nerdy.
Excuse me, do you think my french horn would fit in the picture?
Unfortunately, this is still my skill level when it comes to make-up.
I'm pretty sure this is me receiving a remote control car and talking parrot for my 12th birthday. TWELFTH.
2. I WAS SO CUTE. And my parents didn't believe in pants.
Also, to add insult to injury, I have poison ivy over about 80% of my body.
Yummy!
But, I want you to know that the whole time everyone was very concerned about you, Becky. <3
Thanks for the continued support, and I look forward to getting back into the swing of things and not working again tomorrow.
(((hugs)))
ReplyDeleteIf you are into reading there was a great book that was rec'ed to me after my sister passed, it's called "I Wasn't Ready to Say Goodbye" and it helped me a lot.